You just want to be left alone, I get it. You’ve been hurt. People have proven they aren’t trustworthy. They only think about themselves.
It’s as if a part of you were screaming:
Screw them. Everyone just leave me alone. I don’t want to be part of anyone’s life. And I don’t have to be. You can’t make me – not anymore.
I don’t belong among people. I never did, otherwise, I’m sure I would have found a way to fit in. But not me. It might have looked like I was fine, but I never was. I was always scared. I played the chameleon. Just be who they want you to be. People are too stupid to notice anyway.
Be myself? What for? There’s no point in that. Be myself for whom? If I let down my guard, I’ll get slaughtered – again. Not gonna happen!
I’m at peace when I’m by myself, period. When I have to be around people, I fake it. I get through it. That’s all the hope there is for my relationships.
And stop telling me I live in a social world. I’ll never be able to escape people. Don’t give that “we’re social beings” and “interdependent society” b.s.
You’re just trying to lure me into trusting people who are fundamentally untrustworthy. The only predictable thing about people is that – given enough time – they will hurt you.
I’ll take my chances on my own. I’m not saying I’m happy or anything, but I’m safe and that’s all that matters.
Any other questions?
You got the message, now what?
Let’s take a quick inventory.
• A part of you hates people
• It feels alienated
• It’s alienated from YOU as well
• You probably don’t know this part of you well
• Other parts of you hate this part
• You probably have a different part who longs to belong
The bottom line: Within you there is alienation and conflict among different parts of your personality. This leads to conflicting feelings. You feel compelled to avoid people. You long to fit in – to belong.
Is there a solution?
Like all parts-oriented work, you should approach this from a position of self-compassion. The central problem is one of inner disconnection and alienation. The solution must begin within yourself. In other words, stop the isolation and inner conflict.
You can do this by centering yourself and calling forth the part of you who hates people. Consider it your goal to eliminate the disconnect between you and this important part of your psyche. Hang out with this part of you. Learn about it. Let it tell you its story.
The majority of people need a facilitator for this kind of inner parts work. But it isn’t 100% necessary. Just think of the part of you that hates people, realizing that it’s just a part of you. Talk to it. This is a normal thing to do.
What seems less normal (but more common) is to allow parts of you to hijack your consciousness and force you to do things you otherwise wouldn’t want to do, like avoid people at all costs.