When is it appropriate to get help with grief?

There are many different types of grief. Your grief can range from the simplicity of losing a favorite belonging to the death of a loved one. So, when is it appropriate to get help with grief?

This is a good question that I was asked recently. It can seem that the simplicity of losing a belonging does not warrant a discussion about grief. It also seems logical that when you lose a loved one to death that you should ask for help with grief.

So where is the rule book for this grief thing? How do we know when it is appropriate to get help with grief?

Getting help with grief

As human beings, we all perceive things with different levels of emotion. Think back to when you were a child. Losing a toy was a dramatic life event. You could be sad about it for days or even weeks. That did not change the fact that it was important to you and you grieved over it.

The same could be said for a job that you have had and liked for 20 years and then find out they are closing the business. Your forty years old and must start over. The grief is real and it’s a big deal!

What about losing a pet? How about finding out you have an autoimmune disease? These are just a few examples. Grief can come from many angles and no age is immune to its power.

The answer to getting help with grief.

Let’s go back to the original question. When is it appropriate to get help with grief?

The answer is, whenever you experience it and do not know how to process it.

Going through grief is a very individualized experience. As I illustrated above there can be a lot of factors. It all comes down to what your values are on a given topic and what you have lost within that set of values.

Losing a toy at 3 years old can truly create dramatic grief as much as the lost job for the 40-year-old. In the end, it truly boils down to what has happened to cause the grief and the level of challenge you have to overcome it.

If you feel like you need help with grief, then you probably do. There is no shame and no blame. We all walk a tough road and can use some assistance finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you would like to know more about how to get help with grief, please click here and start your road to a new fulfilled life!

Jeremy Sycks is a NLP Master Practitioner, NLP Trainer, and a Certified Life Coach specializing in Grief Coaching. Jeremy is the founder of the grief coaching program “How to Cope with the Loss of a Loved One.

What people with impostor syndrome say to themselves

Imposter syndrome is a condition in which we feel like frauds; as if every accomplishment were due to luck or outside sources, not because of our inner resources.

In turn, imposter syndrome tells us that our failures are 100% our fault and have nothing to do with luck or outside circumstances. Feeling like a chronic fraud can seriously derail your plans.

Here are some common things self-proclaimed imposters say to themselves.

You’re a piece of shit!

Let’s not kid ourselves. The inner critic is solely responsible for maintaining imposter syndrome.

You’re not one of them.

Belonging? Out the window. You’re not one of us. Therefore, you must be from some alien planet. Who knows but you don’t belong among humans.

You’re not allowed to have problems.

Imagine – you’re an imperfect person, like everyone. You make mistakes, like everyone. You have weaknesses. Everyone does. You’re a 100% normal person with only one glitch. You believe that having these normal problems makes you less than a human being and therefore an outcast.

And you always will be…

This is one of the killers about the inner critic. It communicates with authority and the unspoken implication that every accusation is eternally true. Amazingly, most of these are not true at all.

Trying to find help with grief?

Grief is a tricky and mysterious emotion that we have as human beings. It can take us from the far reaches of anger or self-criticism to laughter, from confusion to clarity, and from happiness to sadness.

The question I think many of us have is how to process the grief we have in a resourceful way? So, how do we do it?

How do we get help with grief?

After all the years we have been on this earth you would think that we might have a manual for this by now.

Imagine how much easier it would be working through your grief if you had one? I can tell you that after many situations where bouts of grief arose, I could not find an instruction manual. I then thought, maybe I should see if anyone has done this to help with grief.

Hunting for help with grief

I did extensive research on getting help with grief. Some websites and forums offered advice or assistance with grief. What I found was that many of the resources I uncovered were all made with great intention but lacked a truly resourceful direction.

A new question then came up, where can a person find resourceful help with grief? There were many “one size fits all” approaches to getting help with grief but, I could not find anything that spoke to my heart and soul.

I then set out to find a way to create a program for myself and other individuals that are searching for an effective and resourceful way to manage grief.

Creating a resource to help with grief

Over the last two years, I have gained the knowledge needed and matched that with my life experiences with grief. Then, I put together a comprehensive coaching plan that is tailor-fitted to everyone’s unique situation with grief.

Grief can be a long, hard road. The good news is that you do not have to go through it without some assistance. If you would like to learn more about getting help with grief or managing your grief in a more resourceful way, then look no further.

There is a way to work through your grief. There is also a place to get help with grief.

Four Levels of Self-Criticism

Four levels of the inner critic. These are notes from an iNLP Center class.

1. The first level of the inner critic is the unconscious level.

It’s the level at which the inner critic is causing negative feelings and Sears and such. However, you are unaware of its existence and so it has free reign in your psyche to unconsciously influence you.

2. The next level of the inner critic is the enmeshed level.

The enmeshed level suggests that you are in meshed with your inner critic. You can hear what it has to say and when it speaks, you soak it up like a sponge.

So you might hear it say you are going to fail and you adopt that as if you were saying and believing I am going to fail. So it’s similar to the unconscious level in that the inner critic has free reign. It’s thoughts become your thoughts. Yet you are simply more aware at the national level.

3. The third level is the at odds level

In which you hear your inner critic criticize you and predict failure and so forth. Yet when you are on the at odds level, you fight back. So your inner critic says you are going to fail and you reply, no, I am not. Yes, you are. No, I’m not. You’re at odds with your inner critic at this level.

4. The next and highest level is the in-charge level

In which you can listen to your inner critic.

Yeah, and you do not have to respond emotionally. So your inner critics as you are going to fail and you respond by thinking, my inner critic just told me that. I’m going to say, at this point, you’re free to be curious.

Do you agree with your inner critic? Do you think you’re going to fail? You might ask your inner critic, why do you think I’m going to fail?

And you may discover information that you take into consideration as you move forward. The point at this level is that your inner critic no longer has the power to take over. It has the opportunity to offer input. You may listen to that input and take it into consideration, but at this level, you are no longer a slave to your inner critic.